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Editor at Large

So ... you don't feel like working today? Don't try these excuses at home

Calling out sick just to laze around the house is acceptable for a personal day, not for a sick day.
Calling out sick just to laze around the house is acceptable for a personal day, not for a sick day.

“I don't much feel like working today.”

On occasion, I’ve been tempted to call out sick and use that as the reason why – that I just don’t feel like working.

I’ve never done it, as it’s not a valid excuse. But at least it’s an honest thought – unlike some of the other excuses that workers use to take a sick day.

That according to the employment law experts at ELAS, a British company that annually pumps out the worst 10 excuses of the year in the United Kingdom for calling out sick.

For example: “The dog ate my shoes.” Or: “My only pair of work trousers is in the wash.”

ELAS releases this list in February, which in the U.K. includes the worst day of the year for absenteeism, the first Monday of the month.

Here are some of the other excuses on that list of shame, according to The Telegraph of the U.K.:

-- It’s my dog’s birthday and I need to arrange a party for him.

-- My friend is on annual leave, so I can’t get a lift.

-- Too drunk to drive.

-- I stayed out too late partying last night and haven’t had any sleep.

-- My wife earns more than me, so I have to look after the kids.

-- I have no way to get to work.

ELAS, by the way, advises employers that they are “perfectly entitled to challenge the authenticity of an absence,” according to The Telegraph.

Indeed.

RULES OF THE ROAD

Rule While Driving No. 14A – All traffic lights you come to will be green when you desperately want a red light to retrieve something from the back seat or glove compartment.

Rule While Driving No. 19C – 78 percent of the motorists that you attempt to pass will accelerate so that they match your speed. Nothing personal.

Rule While Driving No. 27B – When seeking to turn around and go the other way on a road, you will not see a driveway or street to pull into in order to switch directions for at least 3.2 miles. It will be longer at nighttime.

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