Life-as-football-fans-enjoy-it ends at about 10:30 p.m. Sunday, by when the Super Bowl should be over. (Prediction – Go with Hoodie and the Patriots, 27-24.)
Starting next weekend without pro football, Sunday afternoons instantly pivot from bright to blight. From rousing to drowsing. From thrills to Advils. Indeed, Sundays suddenly become as dull and mundane as:
-- Watching a show on the History Channel that is actually about history.
-- Replacing the lint filter on the washing machine hose.
-- Culling and sorting your grocery coupons, starting with canned and packaged goods, moving on to dairy and produce, transitioning to cleaning products and, of course, ending with condiments and sauces.
-- Doing a preliminary mulch analysis of the front yard.
-- Making a cursory inspection of the upstairs hallway closet and planning a tentative clean-out date that will be postponed a minimum of four times before actually cleaning it.
-- Watching a PBS special comparing the growth rate of facial hair of long-haul truck drivers vs. day-trip truckers. My money’s on the long-haulers – a hardy people, they are.
-- Reorganizing the flatware holder so that knives are on the left, forks are on the right, big spoons are in the middle and small spoons are in the front – simultaneously making the bold decision to move the rarely used corn-on-the-cob holders to the general utility drawer.
-- And, worst of all, watching an entire preseason baseball game on TV.