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Editor at Large

10 New Year's resolutions to possibly be a better worker in 2017

With tongue firmly planted in cheek, here are 10 New Year's resolutions for 2017:

-- I resolve to think of better excuses for when I arrive late to work.

-- I resolve to only go to the ESPN website four times an hour, with exceptions, of course, for the NCAA basketball tournament, Major League Baseball playoffs, NFL Draft, college football bowl week, major golf tournaments, any golf tournament or any other sporting event deemed by me to be worthy of my attention during the workday.

-- I resolve to wait until at least 15 minutes have passed before falling asleep during staff meetings.

-- I resolve to limit three-hour lunches to only twice a week.

-- I resolve to permanently ban the “my son has an after-school concert” excuse to leave work early, especially considering that he graduated from high school in 2007.

-- I resolve to retain all work emails for at least three days before indiscriminately deleting them without responding to or even reading them.

-- I resolve to petition the National Labor Relations Board only once a month to institute mandatory three-day weekends.

-- I resolve to limit the length of my afternoon naps to 30 minutes, except on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and rainy days, when the cap will be 60 minutes.

-- I resolve to actually answer a minimum of one – but not more than two – of every five phone calls to my desk.

-- And finally: I resolve in 2017 to pretend to work harder than ever.


Southern Cal is formidable and essentially playing a home game. But there’s something about the Penn State offense, which next year might have the best quarterback-running back combo in the nation in Trace McSorley and Saquon Barkley. Penn State 27, USC 24 and a top-five final ranking for the Lions.

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