Some advice for hosting a fantasy football draft party at your house. As for actually drafting a team, you're on your own.
-- Have a fridge or ice chest or keg in the draft room.
-- Beer only. No shots. No liquor. Trust me on this one.
-- Coasters are king, and place them everywhere you can. Your furniture will thank you in the morning.
-- An established time limit for each draft pick is not necessary. But if someone is lollygagging on making his pick, give him a one-minute warning. If he misses the deadline, he forfeits the pick but gets to draft twice the next time he selects.
-- Greasy and messy food is not good for laptops and papers. However, greasy and messy food is the best, and guys are slobs. So distribute plenty of napkins: 10 per attendee (20 each if you serve wings and sauce).
-- Individual hand-wipe packets are forbidden. No one will use them, and everyone will ridicule you for having them.
-- Start the cleanup when there are four or five rounds left in the draft. This could just be tossing out paper plates and napkins and recycling cans and bottles. Also, an early start could shame others into helping with the cleanup.
-- Prep sofas and the spare bedroom just in case someone is not sober enough to drive home.
-- Late in the draft, it’s OK and probably smart to cut off beer or claim that you’ve run out of beer.
-- But don’t ever run out of food.
RANDOM SHOTS AND SECOND THOUGHTS:
-- Ryan Lochte embellishes and lies so much that he should run for president.
-- I’ve got the Southeast at minus 105 to win the Little League World Series. Don’t count out Curacao, though.
-- Never understand the popularity of the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). But I guess old-timers years ago were saying that about the NFL. Or the NBA. Or Call of Duty.